Thank You

Your operation has been a success—a smashing success, actually. Everything went exactly as planned.

Exactly.

Now that you’ve accomplished what you’ve set out to do, perhaps you’d like to settle in and read a story or two? Just remember that our Mechanists cannot be held responsible for any psychological trauma inflicted, which includes (but is not limited to):

• sleepless nights,
• unsettling dreams,
• terrifying apparitions,
• a relentless urge to stare into the void,
• hearing ghostly and/or monstrous voices,
• ugly crying during car insurance commercials,
• becoming aware of glitches in the Matrix,
• the accidental summoning of demonic entities, or
• new inability to perceive time as a linear, progressive construct.