Thank You

Your operation has been a success—a smashing success, actually. Everything went exactly as planned.


Now that you’ve accomplished what you’ve set out to do, perhaps you’d like to settle in and read a story or two? Just remember that our Mechanists cannot be held responsible for any psychological trauma inflicted, which includes (but is not limited to):

  • sleepless nights,
  • unsettling dreams,
  • terrifying apparitions,
  • a relentless urge to stare into the void,
  • hearing ghostly and/or monstrous voices,
  • ugly crying during car insurance commercials,
  • becoming aware of glitches in the Matrix,
  • the accidental summoning of demonic entities, or
  • new inability to perceive time as a linear, progressive construct.



If you’d prefer to shop, don’t count on it being much safer. Items may be cursed, hacked, hexed, or sentient. We cannot guarantee that the item you order will not loathe, poison, attack, manipulate, or consume you. Beware the books, in particular. They’ve been known to subconsciously influence people.

You’ve been warned.

What's the password?

Login to your account

Stay informed