4.1
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  3. Excellent pacing but premise/theme are overdone for me.

For me, when there are too many different characters introduced within a short period of time without much details or anything to make me care about them I almost instantly forget their names. It makes it hard to care about them later. I prefer staggered introduction of characters when reading — however, I feel if this was a short film, nothing would need to change. Overall, a good read but this premise has been done to death so you can almost anticipate the whole story after the first bite.

Random odd thoughts I had while reading:

“Then suddenly reared back and slammed his bloodied forehead into the window, a web of cracks forming on the glass.” I am pretty sure that only windshields spiderweb?

I was confused how a girl who just turned 21 had this “large compound” and a Benz. Am I supposed to think she’s making this kind of money live streaming? Was she famous before or something?

“…drunk, however, Annalise knew that was not the case.” This girl just turned 21, and downed several shots. Why would she not be drunk *AND* infected?

“She pushed Patience off of her and turned her attention back to.” Back to who?

Premise 3.0
Authenticity 3.5
Characters 3.0
Dialogue 4.0
Details 4.5
Pacing 5.0
Theme 3.0
Clarity 4.5
Word Choice 4.5
Grammar 5.0
Spelling 5.0
Dread Factor 4.0
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